The Official Crimefile Review of TAKERS

Los Angeles, CA—I have a policy to avoid writing reviews for films I don’t like. I have complained that good films are hard to find these days. There is a lot of crap out there. I feel the need here to warn my readers to avoid this bomb.

Takers will take 107 minutes of your life you will never get back. This Sony Pictures release has a racially diverse group of stylish but overdressed thugs pulling grand stick-ups. This is a film for troubled 13 year-olds that seems to be written by their peers.

Realism was tossed out the window in favor of senseless violence. Violence is in our world and it belongs in films but this was an assembled mess. The director, John Luessenhop has the actors handling their weapons with gross unfamiliarity.

There was a grand foot chase of epic proportions beyond the ability of even the greatest athletes. That unrealistic chase gave me Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome systems and whiplash.

They have a group of armored car guards that willingly sacrifice their lives by taking on the much greater force of thugs that are armed with select fire M-4 carbines and shotguns. No American armored car company would want their guards taking bullets for the cash they carry.

As for the actors, their performances were very decent in the various scenes. Matt Dillon and the rest of the young male cast wasted their talents and time on this terrible script. The photography was good, the stunts looked painful and the thugs were costumed right out of GQ Magazine.

I wrote this review so you don’t waste your hard earned cash on this garbage. Perhaps you should take in some local community theater and skip the movies until the major talent agencies figure out how to make films again. Yes folks, it’s the talent agencies that dictate what films will be made, not the studios.

Cast:

Jesse Attica - Chris Brown

A.J. - Hayden Christensen

Jack Welles - Matt Dillon

Jake Attica - Michael Ealy

Gordon Jennings - Idris Elba

Lt. Carver - Steve Harris

Ghost - Tip "T.I." Harris

Eddie Hatcher - Jay Hernandez

Scott - Johnathon Schaech

Comments

Anonymous said…

Hhhmmm,isnt there another HEAT type movie coming out,The Town I believe.

August 29, 2010 7:37 PM

Anonymous said…

Now, Paul, I am little suprised that you did not predict that the movie would stink. One look at the poster is all I need to see.

September 02, 2010 10:40 PM

Chicago Cops Slammed with Sudden Ban on the Sig/Sauer P320—And the Officers Will Pay thePrice

In a move that’s rocking the rank and file, the Chicago Police Department has abruptly banned the use of the once-trusted Sig/Sauer P320 pistol as an authorized duty weapon. The order came down swiftly, leaving thousands of officers scrambling. The official reason? Alarming reports that the weapon can fire without the trigger being pulled. For years now the gun-maker has brushed off horror stories about negligent discharges, usually blaming human error. After all, it’s easier to blame the gun than admit to a deadly mistake. Just think back to Alec Baldwin’s tragic shooting on a New Mexico movie set—he insisted he never pulled the trigger, yet a woman lost her life. But experts were quick to point out that the revolver in question simply doesn’t fire on its own. This, however, isn’t Hollywood. The Sig Sauer P320 has a documented pattern of discharges—many occurring while holstered. Lawsuits are piling up, and the manufacturer continues to deny fault, but the incidents are too numerou...

A 40 Caliber Nightmare Is Caught On Tape.

So you’re confident that that .40 caliber S&W service round will keep you safe. Maybe you’ll have second thoughts after you see this video. One hot summer night in 1994 Tempe and Mesa Arizona police were involved in a pursuit with this suspect who ran into a stranger’s apartment to hide after being shot TWICE in the chest. He was shirtless and you can see the blood pumping out of those two wounds. What’s really frightening is just how agile this fellow is as he struts to the ambulance. If he was not handcuffed and had a knife or a gun, ask yourself if he could still hurt you, your partner or a hostage? If your jurisdiction demands that officers carry either the 9MM or the .40 Caliber S&W it’s time to show this video to your bosses and lobby to have the .45 ACP round authorized. The switch may well reduce the screaming by self-appointed community activists about how many rounds police had to use on a suspect. The really talented and courageous video journalist, Karen Ke...

America Will See Its Worst Race Riot Yet This Summer

Star Prosecution Witness, Rachel Jeantel Sanford, FL —Yes, the George Zimmerman trial here has thousands of African-Americans getting ready for some serious bloodletting. I don’t want to make idle and dire predictions but this nation has never been so divided and racially sensitive. Our African-American President took sides on this case at the very beginning. That ratified a George Zimmerman guilty verdict in the minds of millions. There’s just one little problem, and that is the murder case should have never been filed. It was filed purely for political reasons despite the fact that it was a simple justifiable homicide. Zimmerman was on the block watch lookout program and followed a suspicious Trayvon Martin after he used an improper entrance to a gated community. Zimmerman was acting as the eyes and ears of the Sanford Police Department. Martin did not like being followed and knew that he could easily beat up the out-of-shape...

Search This Blog