So you want to represent yourself in a felony trial?

Representing yourself in a criminal case is not bravery, it is suicide with paperwork. You are walking into a legal minefield armed with nothing but blind confidence and Google searches. I have watched these self taught courtroom warriors mumble their way through arguments they could have won if they only knew how. It is like watching someone set their own hair on fire in slow motion. Even the worst lawyer in town will keep you alive longer than trying to play attorney in your own felony trial which is the express lane to a prison cell complete with free orange wardrobe and a concrete mattress.

As a criminal defense investigator I have recently been thrown into the circus ring with defendants who decided they were too smart for actual lawyers. They have traded seasoned legal counsel for the thrill of playing Perry Mason in their own courtroom disaster. My hands are tied by court rules that forbid me from giving legal advice which is a shame because watching these self appointed geniuses argue motions is like watching a monkey try to do brain surgery with a spoon. I am not a lawyer but I have been around enough winning defense motions to recognize the difference between skill and self destruction. My law degree is strictly from the Monkey See Monkey Do School of Jurisprudence.

The big problem with pro per defendants is they have no idea how to argue properly. I have watched jailhouse lawyers lose motions they could have won simply because they did not think to put a single witness on the stand supporting their position. Instead they mumble through their points like they are reading bad karaoke lyrics. It is painful. It is tragic. I can only watch them crash and burn.

Also, if they do not object at trial you’re precluded from arguing those issues in their various appeals.

When you are facing criminal charges choosing a lawyer if you can afford one is no walk in the park. Some are brilliant some are awful and the public defender lottery is just that, a gamble. You might get the Perry Mason of the courthouse or you might get a guy who could not win an argument with a traffic cone.

The best lawyer I ever worked with was a legend. Brilliant in court, lethal to the prosecution, and utterly intolerant of his clients bad judgment. He would warn them once maybe twice and then drop them like a bad habit if they ignored him. His bedside manner was a disaster but his courtroom results were gold. We won case after case. Unfortunately two packs of Camels a day did what the prosecutors never could, they killed him at 68.

Even the worst attorney is better than no attorney. Because here is the dirty little truth, even lawyers who get caught with their hands in the cookie jar are smart enough to hire a lawyer when they are in trouble. They know better than to try this suicide mission called self representation.

If you are charged with a crime and think you can outsmart the system on your own, you are a lamb walking to your slaughter. The courtroom is not a place for amateur hour. It is a battlefield where even seasoned lawyers get bloodied. Hire one. Beg, borrow, or pawn your soul if you have to. Because if you insist on representing yourself, the only opening statement you will need is “Your Honor, I would like my prison cell on the sunny side.”

A 40 Caliber Nightmare Is Caught On Tape.

So you’re confident that that .40 caliber S&W service round will keep you safe. Maybe you’ll have second thoughts after you see this video. One hot summer night in 1994 Tempe and Mesa Arizona police were involved in a pursuit with this suspect who ran into a stranger’s apartment to hide after being shot TWICE in the chest. He was shirtless and you can see the blood pumping out of those two wounds. What’s really frightening is just how agile this fellow is as he struts to the ambulance. If he was not handcuffed and had a knife or a gun, ask yourself if he could still hurt you, your partner or a hostage? If your jurisdiction demands that officers carry either the 9MM or the .40 Caliber S&W it’s time to show this video to your bosses and lobby to have the .45 ACP round authorized. The switch may well reduce the screaming by self-appointed community activists about how many rounds police had to use on a suspect. The really talented and courageous video journalist, Karen Ke...

America Will See Its Worst Race Riot Yet This Summer

Star Prosecution Witness, Rachel Jeantel Sanford, FL —Yes, the George Zimmerman trial here has thousands of African-Americans getting ready for some serious bloodletting. I don’t want to make idle and dire predictions but this nation has never been so divided and racially sensitive. Our African-American President took sides on this case at the very beginning. That ratified a George Zimmerman guilty verdict in the minds of millions. There’s just one little problem, and that is the murder case should have never been filed. It was filed purely for political reasons despite the fact that it was a simple justifiable homicide. Zimmerman was on the block watch lookout program and followed a suspicious Trayvon Martin after he used an improper entrance to a gated community. Zimmerman was acting as the eyes and ears of the Sanford Police Department. Martin did not like being followed and knew that he could easily beat up the out-of-shape...

The origin of the feature film, COME FRIDAY…

CLick On the pictures to see full size versions. Long ago there was a young lady I had the hots for in a big way (Yes, I know that hots is not a word). She was pretty, incredibly bright, and had some real elegance about her. She had a love for children and basic kindness that you don’t often see in someone her age. I met her parents and could understand she came from a much more stable home than mine. I was raised by a single, welfare mom and suddenly found myself way out-classed. For whatever reasons things did not workout they way I had hoped. Sadly for me, we went on our separate ways. From time to time I’d run into this lady in various places where our job had taken us. Whenever this happened my heart would skip a beat or two. I left my hometown Chicago, and moved to Arizona where I founded my detective agency. As a private eye and soon a TV news producer too, my career took me to the highest profile criminal events in Arizona and throughout the country. There’s no question that ...

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