Driving while intoxicated is not just stupid. It is Olympic-level stupid. It is the kind of stupid that comes with a price tag big enough to make your wallet curl up and die. A DUI will bleed you between nine grand and twenty-five grand before you can even say, “But officer, I’m fine.” Insurance spikes, legal fees, towing, storage, DUI school, and the privilege of walking everywhere like some medieval peasant. And yes, it can cost you your job. Employers love reliability, not “Sorry, boss, my license is in jail.” Here is how it happens. The more booze you pour down your throat, the more convinced you become that you are Mario Andretti with a cape. After enough drinks you are basically Superman without the x-ray vision, the flying, or the common sense. Back in my early police days in the late 60s and early 70s, DUI enforcement was about as common as a snowstorm in Phoenix. Unless someone was dead or mangled, nobody bothered. The arrest process was a bureaucratic nightmare and bosses ...