TikTok is Officially Toast: A Celebration of Vertical Video’s Demise

Wfell, folks, it finally happened—TikTok is offline, and I, for one, couldn’t be happier. TikTok was a platform that brought us cringe-inducing dances, questionable life hacks, and the soul-sucking horror of vertical videos. Seriously, who decided that filming through a keyhole was the way to go? I get it, everyone’s glued to their phones, but have we forgotten that screens can turn sideways? It’s not hard, people.

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the drama behind TikTok’s shutdown. The official story is that we were worried about the Chinese government using it to spy on us. Because apparently, seeing Becky from Iowa lip-sync to Taylor Swift is a matter of national security. But really, why would the Chinese bother with TikTok when they could probably just hit up Hunter Biden for a discount on classified intel? The guy’s got a laptop full of goodies, after all. Throw in Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden, and you’ve got a discount espionage dream team. Who needs TikTok when your politicians are basically handing out state secrets like IHalloween candy?

And let’s not forget, TikTok didn’t just ruin video aesthetics—it ruined lives. People have literally died trying to one-up each other with daredevil stunts for likes. Darwin Awards, meet your new sponsor. But sure, TikTok was the real threat to America, not the NSA logging every phone call, text, and late-night Google search you’ve ever made. Nope, it’s the dancing teens we should be afraid of.

In reality, the Patriot Act and other government snoop-fests are far scarier than a platform that’s 90% cats and people falling off treadmills. But hey, at least now I don’t have to endure another poorly filmed vertical cooking tutorial. That, my friends, is the real victory.

Comments

A 40 Caliber Nightmare Is Caught On Tape.

So you’re confident that that .40 caliber S&W service round will keep you safe. Maybe you’ll have second thoughts after you see this video. One hot summer night in 1994 Tempe and Mesa Arizona police were involved in a pursuit with this suspect who ran into a stranger’s apartment to hide after being shot TWICE in the chest. He was shirtless and you can see the blood pumping out of those two wounds. What’s really frightening is just how agile this fellow is as he struts to the ambulance. If he was not handcuffed and had a knife or a gun, ask yourself if he could still hurt you, your partner or a hostage? If your jurisdiction demands that officers carry either the 9MM or the .40 Caliber S&W it’s time to show this video to your bosses and lobby to have the .45 ACP round authorized. The switch may well reduce the screaming by self-appointed community activists about how many rounds police had to use on a suspect. The really talented and courageous video journalist, Karen Ke...

The origin of the feature film, COME FRIDAY…

CLick On the pictures to see full size versions. Long ago there was a young lady I had the hots for in a big way (Yes, I know that hots is not a word). She was pretty, incredibly bright, and had some real elegance about her. She had a love for children and basic kindness that you don’t often see in someone her age. I met her parents and could understand she came from a much more stable home than mine. I was raised by a single, welfare mom and suddenly found myself way out-classed. For whatever reasons things did not workout they way I had hoped. Sadly for me, we went on our separate ways. From time to time I’d run into this lady in various places where our job had taken us. Whenever this happened my heart would skip a beat or two. I left my hometown Chicago, and moved to Arizona where I founded my detective agency. As a private eye and soon a TV news producer too, my career took me to the highest profile criminal events in Arizona and throughout the country. There’s no question that ...

America Will See Its Worst Race Riot Yet This Summer

Star Prosecution Witness, Rachel Jeantel Sanford, FL —Yes, the George Zimmerman trial here has thousands of African-Americans getting ready for some serious bloodletting. I don’t want to make idle and dire predictions but this nation has never been so divided and racially sensitive. Our African-American President took sides on this case at the very beginning. That ratified a George Zimmerman guilty verdict in the minds of millions. There’s just one little problem, and that is the murder case should have never been filed. It was filed purely for political reasons despite the fact that it was a simple justifiable homicide. Zimmerman was on the block watch lookout program and followed a suspicious Trayvon Martin after he used an improper entrance to a gated community. Zimmerman was acting as the eyes and ears of the Sanford Police Department. Martin did not like being followed and knew that he could easily beat up the out-of-shape...

Search This Blog