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I almost stumbled into political entertainment thanks to Bill Maher. And thank God I didn’t.

Bill Maher, the master of smug smirks, built a career out of mocking conservatives while sprinkling just enough insults at liberals to look “balanced.” His crown jewel was Politically Incorrect, which was pitched as bold, edgy television but usually looked like a bad dinner party where washed-up celebrities pretended to know politics. The hook? Toss in a few “ordinary people” to make the stars look smart by comparison. Enter me.

Maher held auditions in Phoenix, probably because he needed fresh meat far enough from Hollywood that the poor saps like me would work cheap. I showed up, gave my best, and actually made the cut as a finalist. That’s right, I was this close to being the civilian circus act next to D-list celebrities debating topics they’d Googled in the limo.

Then ABC axed the show. Just like that, my fifteen minutes of fame evaporated. Later, I ran into Maher at a Hollywood party, where we clinked glasses and lamented the cancellation. He looked annoyed his platform was gone. I looked relieved I didn’t have to sit next to some vapid starlet pretending to know foreign policy.

Why did the show tank? Maher made the shocking observation that people who fly planes into buildings might not be “cowards” if they’re willing to die for their cause. He never said they weren’t terrorists or lunatics, just that bravery and evil aren’t mutually exclusive. The sponsors freaked out, ABC folded Like a like a cheap lawn chair and Maher went into career purgatory. Cancel culture before it had a catchy name.

Looking back, I realize I dodged a bullet. Instead of being Hollywood’s token “ordinary guy” who nods on cue while celebrities spout nonsense, I got to keep my dignity intact. Maher may still make me laugh once in a while, but if I’d actually ended up on his stage, I’d be cringing at the reruns for the rest of my life! 


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